Grandparent Headed Households
Grandparent headed households are an important phenomenon in today’s society. In the United States, about 4.5 million children under 18 are raised by their grandparents. Most of these families live in poverty or beyond the threshold. Furthermore, no parent is present at home for about one third of these children. There are many reasons for the increasing number of grandparent headed households (they grew by 13 percent between 1991 and 1993, for instance): child abandonment, violence, incarceration, death, unemployment and economic hardship, teenage pregnancy, HIV infection and AIDS, substance abuse, mental illness, and neglect, among many.
Parenting in Grandparent Headed Households
It has been reported that care giving has some negative effects on grandparents. First, grandmothers who take care of their grandchildren are more likely to experience the symptoms of depression. Higher levels of stress, anxiety, and worries are other negative effect among grandparent caretakers. Some of them cannot retire because they have to provide for the children. Stress may come as the result of their child asserting parental rights at some point in the future. Many of the grandparents are also ashamed of their child’s behavior. They might have visits on the part of parents who are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Finally, the caregiver might be anxious about the faith of grandchildren if they are incapable of supporting and caring for them. Obviously, grandparents have to take care of the children’s medical care, education, and emotional support. Moreover due to neglect or mistreatment, many children have special psychological, emotional, educational, and medical needs and requirements.
Additional Challenges
Because of abuse, rejection, or neglect by the parents, many of these children have lower self-esteem. Abandoned children often mistrust adults. Often times, these children have difficulty relaxing and stay self-protective. They may test their care takers over and again before trusting them. This may be stressful and tiring to the grandparents.
How to Deal with the New Parenting Role
First of all, grandparents should look for support and never think that they are left alone. The Center to the American Association of Retired Persons, for instance, offers information as well as resources to assist grandparents in managing with their care giving role.
Second, grandparents should try and win the trust of the child or children. It is important that you establish the rules. Children who had lived in dysfunctional families often feel insecure. Their parents haven’t thought them what was right, wrong, and appropriate with some form of consistency and regularity. Determine the rules and apply them as consistently as possible. Last but not least, compliment the children and make sure they know that you are proud of them. They have to know that you love them.
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